Another school year comes to a close. I'm really looking forward to this summer and all the fun adventures we have planned, but I feel like I should take a minute and count my blessings. I couldn't have asked for a better school year for both my children.
Katy started Middle School this year and I was pretty nervous for her. Not academically, but socially. She's not a very confident kid, and friendships don't come easy for her. I was worried that she'd be eaten alive by the social hierarchy that is Middle School. I can honestly say the year didn't start out great, but slowly but surely she found a little group she's comfortable with. These are nice girls, uninterested in social status, who seem to like Katy for all her good and bad qualities. What more could you ask for? In addition, she had a nice time on the cross country team, found that she loved the high jump in track, and even asked if she could try the band next year, even though she's never played a musical instrument in her life. She also wants to try out for volleyball, even though she told me she probably won't make it. I love that she has the courage to try things she's not good at. Wish I could take credit for that - but I'm positive she didn't get that trait from me. And I've found myself looking at her this past year and wondering where all the time has gone. I swear she was just a little preschooler sitting with me at the kitchen table coloring in her coloring book. She's growing up so fast. I know I'm biased, but I think she's such a pretty little thing, with such a sweet heart. I hope I'm doing OK mothering her through these years...
And Jayson? Well that kid just bowled me over. Sometimes I need a good swift kick in my behind to remind me that my son is perfectly capable of doing wonderful things without me worrying and hovering over him. I've tried to give him some space this past year and I think he did fairly well, thanks to some unbelievable support at school and on the sports fields. His third grade teacher was OUTSTANDING this year and really helped him start to take some responsibility to keep himself organized and take some risks (she even gave him a part in the class play). Jayson was the first in the whole class to master his multiplication and division facts, and he studied his little butt off in science and social studies to earn A's all year. Reading and writing are still a struggle, but its nice to finally see where his strengths are so we can encourage him to pursue those, while still working on his weaknesses. And socially? Well, there have been ups and downs, but I think I worry more about Jayson's social life than he does. He has managed to find himself a very sweet little group of boys that he loves to hang out with. When I go into school and watch the kids interact I'm so grateful to see so many of his classmates treat him like any other kid. And he was lucky enough to be in a class full of very sweet children this year. And if you would have told me a year ago that Jayson would play football and baseball this year, I would have laughed in your face. At last night's game, I watched as a teammate sat next to Jayson on the bench and put his arm around him. As the two boys grinned and cheered on their team, I had the biggest lump in my throat. I don't want greatness for my son - I just want happiness for him. This past year has brought so much happiness.
I'm so glad summer is here. No homework, no crazy practice schedules - just a lot of together time with my kids around my house and in my pool. I know these days are so fleeting. I"ll blink my eyes and my kids will have summer jobs and summer school, and then it's off to college. So I'm enjoying it while I can, and counting my blessings. And let's hope 7th and 4th grade are just as successful! Happy Summer everyone!!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
When Youth Sports Gets It Right...
Sadly, youth sports can become an untamed beast that quickly grows out of control. We've all heard stories of crazy coaches, even crazier parents, outrageous travel teams, ridiculous costs and schedules, and kids driven to the brink of burnout. Every parent thinks their child is gifted and headed for the pros, and many spend all their time and money making sure their kid has the best of everything. I could go on and on and rant about this subject but that's not what I want to talk about.
You see, we have a much different experience with youth sports with our son, Jayson. Everywhere I look kids are heading to elite travel teams and signing up for specialty clinics. I often wonder, where do the average and "so so" kids go? Can't kids play sports just because it's fun? Jayson has been in karate since he was 5, and has recently participated in football and baseball. He is not gifted nor talented in any of these things. Much as I hate to admit it, it's hard to watch the other kids in his karate class progress so much faster, the kids on his football team hit so much harder, and the kids on his baseball team swing the bat more powerfully. But after I take a deep breath and get a grip, it's easy to see how lucky we have been - because Jayson has had incredible experiences with all 3 of these sports thanks to some terrific coaches. And that's when I realize that there's still hope for sanity in youth sports.
Jayson started Karate on the day he turned 5. It was the very first time we attempted any kind of athletic activity. I was a nervous wreck. Jayson was still in a time of his life when meltdowns were common, social skills were dismal, and his attention span was nil. I remember going up to his sensei and talking to him before class started. I told him about Jayson's autism and what might happen. I told him how to handle Jayson if things went south, and I thanked him in advance for his patience. Nearly 4 years later that same man is still Jayson's sensei. He has handled him calmly and patiently, provided tons of encouragement and also gentle butt kicking. Thanks to him, Jayson has moved up 3 belts. He has the confidence to test with hundreds of other kids in front of total strangers. He has memorized 3 katas and has mastered some difficult block and punch combinations. Is he the sharpest one on the floor? No. Is he the most powerful one on the floor? No. Is he good at sparring? Not really. (thank goodness for padding). Will he ever become a black belt? Possibly, but doubtful. But we measure his success in a different way and we are proud of him. I suspect his sensei is proud of him as well. It's not always about being the best.
Jayson's football experience was even better, even though he really didn't have a clue how to play. Erik became an assistant coach so he could keep an eye on how Jayson was interacting with the other players. In the end, we didn't have to worry. The kids really weren't able to talk to each other because they were covered head to toe in padding and protection. All the kids got along fine and the head coach was an absolute dream. He was a perfect example of a positive role model, even asking the ref to call a penalty on one of his OWN players when he made a dirty play. The refs had missed it, but our coach wanted to make a point to the young boys - you play clean or you don't play at all. He even saved a place on the team for twin brothers - one perfectly healthy, the other wheelchair bound with severe physical disabilities. The boy in the wheel chair suited up for every game and coach wheeled him out first when the team took the field. He even gave up the chance at extra points in order to let the boy put the ball on his lap and wheel himself into the end zone. At the end of each game, the boys usually forgot to ask if they won or lost. They just had fun. Those, my friends, are the important lessons to learn in youth sports.
And then we arrived at baseball. I was so excited to have Jayson play, but I was also very nervous. There's A LOT of downtime during a baseball game. Lots of standing around (not a good thing if you have attention issues), and lots of sitting in the dugout (not a good thing if you are awkward with conversations and social interaction). To make matters worse, Erik wasn't able to assistant coach, leaving Jayson on his own. And did I mention that Jayson loves baseball, but can't hit the broad side of a barn? But once again we hit the jackpot with coaches. This coach is the most easy going, positive, and optimistic guy I've ever seen. He cheers for every pitch thrown and every swing of the bat. He has come up with the cutest nicknames for each player. He never argues with the umpires, even when they make an obvious bad call, although other coaches have thrown hissy fits. After all, these umps are just teenagers who are learning skills as well. He has good advice for every player after every game and always has a huge smile on his face. And to top it off, he has the most amazing son - a kid who could easily play on an elite travel team because he's THAT good, but stays on recreational. This boy is just like his father - cheering on his teammates and always being friendly. And happily he spends a lot of time sitting next to Jayson on the bench as they wait to bat. I suspect the coach told his son about Jayson and his autism issues, because he goes out of his way to talk to Jayson and encourage him. And the parents seem really great as well. Everyone cheers for everyone else - even kids on the other team if they make a great play. I couldn't ask for a better experience for Jayson. I'm so grateful. And even though he needs some help in the hitting department, he's actually quite talented at second base! Go figure!
So I'm not one of those mothers that can brag about how talented my kid is, and what elite teams he's on. I have a son who is (gasp) average, at best, in sports. But I suspect that makes me one of the lucky ones. Jayson doesn't have the pressure heaped on him that some kids do. Erik and I can't be swayed to sink tons of money into his athletic development like parents are often pressured to do (we get enough of that pressure with our daughter). Our kid just gets to play and have fun. So a great big THANK YOU to all the coaches and senseis who have helped our son. If everyone approached youth sports like these men, the world would be a better (and less stressful) place. Now, play ball!!!
You see, we have a much different experience with youth sports with our son, Jayson. Everywhere I look kids are heading to elite travel teams and signing up for specialty clinics. I often wonder, where do the average and "so so" kids go? Can't kids play sports just because it's fun? Jayson has been in karate since he was 5, and has recently participated in football and baseball. He is not gifted nor talented in any of these things. Much as I hate to admit it, it's hard to watch the other kids in his karate class progress so much faster, the kids on his football team hit so much harder, and the kids on his baseball team swing the bat more powerfully. But after I take a deep breath and get a grip, it's easy to see how lucky we have been - because Jayson has had incredible experiences with all 3 of these sports thanks to some terrific coaches. And that's when I realize that there's still hope for sanity in youth sports.
Jayson started Karate on the day he turned 5. It was the very first time we attempted any kind of athletic activity. I was a nervous wreck. Jayson was still in a time of his life when meltdowns were common, social skills were dismal, and his attention span was nil. I remember going up to his sensei and talking to him before class started. I told him about Jayson's autism and what might happen. I told him how to handle Jayson if things went south, and I thanked him in advance for his patience. Nearly 4 years later that same man is still Jayson's sensei. He has handled him calmly and patiently, provided tons of encouragement and also gentle butt kicking. Thanks to him, Jayson has moved up 3 belts. He has the confidence to test with hundreds of other kids in front of total strangers. He has memorized 3 katas and has mastered some difficult block and punch combinations. Is he the sharpest one on the floor? No. Is he the most powerful one on the floor? No. Is he good at sparring? Not really. (thank goodness for padding). Will he ever become a black belt? Possibly, but doubtful. But we measure his success in a different way and we are proud of him. I suspect his sensei is proud of him as well. It's not always about being the best.
Jayson's football experience was even better, even though he really didn't have a clue how to play. Erik became an assistant coach so he could keep an eye on how Jayson was interacting with the other players. In the end, we didn't have to worry. The kids really weren't able to talk to each other because they were covered head to toe in padding and protection. All the kids got along fine and the head coach was an absolute dream. He was a perfect example of a positive role model, even asking the ref to call a penalty on one of his OWN players when he made a dirty play. The refs had missed it, but our coach wanted to make a point to the young boys - you play clean or you don't play at all. He even saved a place on the team for twin brothers - one perfectly healthy, the other wheelchair bound with severe physical disabilities. The boy in the wheel chair suited up for every game and coach wheeled him out first when the team took the field. He even gave up the chance at extra points in order to let the boy put the ball on his lap and wheel himself into the end zone. At the end of each game, the boys usually forgot to ask if they won or lost. They just had fun. Those, my friends, are the important lessons to learn in youth sports.
And then we arrived at baseball. I was so excited to have Jayson play, but I was also very nervous. There's A LOT of downtime during a baseball game. Lots of standing around (not a good thing if you have attention issues), and lots of sitting in the dugout (not a good thing if you are awkward with conversations and social interaction). To make matters worse, Erik wasn't able to assistant coach, leaving Jayson on his own. And did I mention that Jayson loves baseball, but can't hit the broad side of a barn? But once again we hit the jackpot with coaches. This coach is the most easy going, positive, and optimistic guy I've ever seen. He cheers for every pitch thrown and every swing of the bat. He has come up with the cutest nicknames for each player. He never argues with the umpires, even when they make an obvious bad call, although other coaches have thrown hissy fits. After all, these umps are just teenagers who are learning skills as well. He has good advice for every player after every game and always has a huge smile on his face. And to top it off, he has the most amazing son - a kid who could easily play on an elite travel team because he's THAT good, but stays on recreational. This boy is just like his father - cheering on his teammates and always being friendly. And happily he spends a lot of time sitting next to Jayson on the bench as they wait to bat. I suspect the coach told his son about Jayson and his autism issues, because he goes out of his way to talk to Jayson and encourage him. And the parents seem really great as well. Everyone cheers for everyone else - even kids on the other team if they make a great play. I couldn't ask for a better experience for Jayson. I'm so grateful. And even though he needs some help in the hitting department, he's actually quite talented at second base! Go figure!
So I'm not one of those mothers that can brag about how talented my kid is, and what elite teams he's on. I have a son who is (gasp) average, at best, in sports. But I suspect that makes me one of the lucky ones. Jayson doesn't have the pressure heaped on him that some kids do. Erik and I can't be swayed to sink tons of money into his athletic development like parents are often pressured to do (we get enough of that pressure with our daughter). Our kid just gets to play and have fun. So a great big THANK YOU to all the coaches and senseis who have helped our son. If everyone approached youth sports like these men, the world would be a better (and less stressful) place. Now, play ball!!!
Thursday, April 11, 2013
A Fractured Fairy Tale
Once upon a time there were 5 Road Whorriers. These 5 strong women decided to go on a very perilous, yet rewarding quest. They would all run the Martian Marathon together. The journey would be tough, but the rewards? Out of this world. Literally. Have I mentioned the alien head medal? And so these women began their journey - some for the first time, some more experienced, but all ready for anything
.
But alas, this journey was filled with danger at every turn. The first Road Whorrier fell victim to health issues. Much as she tried, she realized that it was just too dangerous to continue on the journey. She bid the other 4 women goodbye and promised to join them on future adventures. And then there were 4.
But peril lurked around the next mile marker. The next Road Whorrier received terrible news about her father, and knew she had to leave quest to go fight a much more important battle. We were all saddened by this tragic turn and wished her well. And then there were 3.
The 3 women continued on their journey, which was getting longer and longer and more and more painful. They decided that the longest part of their journey would take place on Tuesdays. The evil Mother Nature heard their innocent musings and unleashed her fury. Every Tuesday from thence forth was fraught with snow, bitter cold temperatures, ice, and howling winds. Still, the Road Whorriers journeyed on.
But alas, Mother Nature got one of them in the end. Severe ice pushed one brave woman to bring her training indoors to the dreaded treadmill. Sadly, she did not survive. The treadmill injured her foot so badly that she could not continue on such a dangerous quest. And then there were 2.
But the evil marathon villains were not through with these Road Whorriers yet. On the longest and most difficult training run of the journey, Mother Nature declared, "Let there be sustained winds of 30 miles an hour with gusts up to 55!! Mwah ha ha!!!!!!" But the brave women conquered 20 miles that day and thought they had vanquished the evil Mother Nature for good. But danger was still close at hand. The next week one Road Whorrier felt a horrible pain in her achilles. She thought her journey was over. It wasn't, but the pain would be with her for the remainder of the quest. She had to be extra brave. With only days left before the end of the long and perilous journey, Mother Nature rose again and planned one last, double pronged attack. She made the rains come and flood the basement of one brave woman, trying to break her spirit, and force her husband to abandon her to clean up the mess. And to finish off the last 2 brave whorriers for good, she changed the race day weather from sunny and 50 with no wind, to dreary and 40 with howling winds right in their faces for 13 miles. "MWAH HA HA!" mother nature shouted triumphantly. "I've got them now! Their spirit is broken for sure"
But the remaining 2 brave Road Whorriers had one final weapon in their fuel belts. Anger. These ladies got PISSED OFF. They were tired of Mother Nature and achilles tendons and flooded basements, and REALLY mad that they couldn't wear their cute matching outfits because the weather was going to be too cold. And so those 2 battered, yet brave women packed that anger in their suitcases and headed for Dearborn for the final showdown in their quest. You better believe the final battle will be epic. You better believe the final line of this story WILL be "and they lived happily ever after." But you will have to wait 2 days for the final chapter. Wish these 2 Road Whorriers luck. It's been a LONG and BRUTAL journey.
(Not quite) Then End.
.
But alas, this journey was filled with danger at every turn. The first Road Whorrier fell victim to health issues. Much as she tried, she realized that it was just too dangerous to continue on the journey. She bid the other 4 women goodbye and promised to join them on future adventures. And then there were 4.
But peril lurked around the next mile marker. The next Road Whorrier received terrible news about her father, and knew she had to leave quest to go fight a much more important battle. We were all saddened by this tragic turn and wished her well. And then there were 3.
The 3 women continued on their journey, which was getting longer and longer and more and more painful. They decided that the longest part of their journey would take place on Tuesdays. The evil Mother Nature heard their innocent musings and unleashed her fury. Every Tuesday from thence forth was fraught with snow, bitter cold temperatures, ice, and howling winds. Still, the Road Whorriers journeyed on.
But alas, Mother Nature got one of them in the end. Severe ice pushed one brave woman to bring her training indoors to the dreaded treadmill. Sadly, she did not survive. The treadmill injured her foot so badly that she could not continue on such a dangerous quest. And then there were 2.
But the evil marathon villains were not through with these Road Whorriers yet. On the longest and most difficult training run of the journey, Mother Nature declared, "Let there be sustained winds of 30 miles an hour with gusts up to 55!! Mwah ha ha!!!!!!" But the brave women conquered 20 miles that day and thought they had vanquished the evil Mother Nature for good. But danger was still close at hand. The next week one Road Whorrier felt a horrible pain in her achilles. She thought her journey was over. It wasn't, but the pain would be with her for the remainder of the quest. She had to be extra brave. With only days left before the end of the long and perilous journey, Mother Nature rose again and planned one last, double pronged attack. She made the rains come and flood the basement of one brave woman, trying to break her spirit, and force her husband to abandon her to clean up the mess. And to finish off the last 2 brave whorriers for good, she changed the race day weather from sunny and 50 with no wind, to dreary and 40 with howling winds right in their faces for 13 miles. "MWAH HA HA!" mother nature shouted triumphantly. "I've got them now! Their spirit is broken for sure"
But the remaining 2 brave Road Whorriers had one final weapon in their fuel belts. Anger. These ladies got PISSED OFF. They were tired of Mother Nature and achilles tendons and flooded basements, and REALLY mad that they couldn't wear their cute matching outfits because the weather was going to be too cold. And so those 2 battered, yet brave women packed that anger in their suitcases and headed for Dearborn for the final showdown in their quest. You better believe the final battle will be epic. You better believe the final line of this story WILL be "and they lived happily ever after." But you will have to wait 2 days for the final chapter. Wish these 2 Road Whorriers luck. It's been a LONG and BRUTAL journey.
(Not quite) Then End.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Getting Back in the Saddle Again...
I have not held a paying job in nearly 13 years. Holy Cow. How can that be? I swear just yesterday I was in my classroom at Riverside Brookfield High School teaching European history to my students. Wasn't it just yesterday I was grading essays, planning lessons, and going to sleep exhausted every night? Well, come to think of it, that last one WAS just yesterday, but I digress...
13 years ago Erik and I made the decision that I should stay home following the birth of our baby. I was in my 6th year of teaching and I just loved every minute of it. I knew, however, that part of what made me a great teacher was my ability to put every single bit of myself into my job. It was no problem to get into school at 6AM and leave at 6 or 7 PM. I could stay and tutor kids, go to sporting events, and build great relationships with my students. Time was not an issue, and work was the center of my life. I feared that I wouldn't be able to balance both a job and a newborn, especially since I knew nothing about babies or being a mother, so once again I put all my time and effort into one thing - this time it was motherhood. I was still young, still feeling like I had my whole life ahead of me, and still thinking it would be no big deal to "someday" get back to work. When Jayson was born I figured once he got into first grade I would be able to consider working again.
Well, hoo-ha. That didn't quite work out. Jayson's autism spectrum diagnosis put our lives in a bit of a tailspin and I completely put thoughts of working on the back burner. But you know what? Time marches on. Kids grow up. Even kids with special needs. At 12 and 8, my kids still need me, but they also need to learn to start doing things without me. And the days that they are in school have become more and more unsettling as the years have progressed. Sure I've filled my time with a lot of things - I've taken up running, I'm able to get all my errands run, and I spend 2-3 days a week volunteering at the school. And it's nice to know when the kids get home I'm waiting here with a kiss and a snack, ready to help them with homework, dinner already planned, ready to bring them to sports practice. It has been my world for nearly 13 years, and it's been a nice world - but I think I'm ready to change that world. I'm going to blink and another 13 years will have gone by. My kids will be grown and gone, and who will I be?
But the thought of getting back out there is overwhelming and terrifying. I have none of the confidence I had way back then. I don't own any nice work clothes. Technology is WAY crazier than it was back in 2000. Heck, for all I know kids have microchips implanted in their heads and teachers just download lessons directly into their brains. Last time I taught I used an OVERHEAD PROJECTOR for goodness sake!! Do they even make those anymore? Even applying for jobs has overwhelmed me. Do I consider part time teaching? Subbing? Library? My would be references are long retired, and for awhile I didn't even know if my license was current or even how to go about finding that out. The last time I made a resume (1994!!) I listed my experience at Dairy Queen. Uh, I haven't worked at Dairy Queen in almost 20 years. And if I got a job, how on EARTH would I handle getting Jayson to school? Would I still be able to meet all his needs at home? Would I still be able to handle all the demands of Katy's skating team practices and traveling schedules? I tell you, it's scary. I'm extremely envious of my working mom friends. They have mastered that delicate balance beautifully and I am in awe of them. More and more I want to be like them.
Once upon a time I was a good teacher. It's been a while, and I may not be up on the latest technology, but I have one thing going for me that I didn't have back then - motherhood. I have a very different understanding of kids and their development. I have a VERY different understanding of kids with different learning styles and different social needs. I have a real appreciation for all the stressors that pre teens and teens face these days. I have ten times more patience than I had the last time I taught. And I still have a passionate love for my subject matter. What I don't have is confidence. But I have a very supportive husband and very supportive friends who have begun helping me build that back up. For that I am very grateful.
So, like running, I'm taking it one step at a time. Just yesterday I mustered up my courage and called the Illinois state board of education. What I thought would be an insurmountable task of tracking down my license took all of 5 minutes to solve. There's one mile marker. Next I'm going to complete that hellacious application for District 202 and try to get on their sub list. There's another mile marker, hopefully completed this week. Then I'll tackle the resume - another mile passed. And perhaps I'll even dip my toes in the waters of actual teaching jobs. That would be a very momentous mile marker. Truth be told that last mile might be a little further down the road, but if there's one thing I've learned about myself, it's that I can run pretty far down roads. I'll keep you posted...
13 years ago Erik and I made the decision that I should stay home following the birth of our baby. I was in my 6th year of teaching and I just loved every minute of it. I knew, however, that part of what made me a great teacher was my ability to put every single bit of myself into my job. It was no problem to get into school at 6AM and leave at 6 or 7 PM. I could stay and tutor kids, go to sporting events, and build great relationships with my students. Time was not an issue, and work was the center of my life. I feared that I wouldn't be able to balance both a job and a newborn, especially since I knew nothing about babies or being a mother, so once again I put all my time and effort into one thing - this time it was motherhood. I was still young, still feeling like I had my whole life ahead of me, and still thinking it would be no big deal to "someday" get back to work. When Jayson was born I figured once he got into first grade I would be able to consider working again.
Well, hoo-ha. That didn't quite work out. Jayson's autism spectrum diagnosis put our lives in a bit of a tailspin and I completely put thoughts of working on the back burner. But you know what? Time marches on. Kids grow up. Even kids with special needs. At 12 and 8, my kids still need me, but they also need to learn to start doing things without me. And the days that they are in school have become more and more unsettling as the years have progressed. Sure I've filled my time with a lot of things - I've taken up running, I'm able to get all my errands run, and I spend 2-3 days a week volunteering at the school. And it's nice to know when the kids get home I'm waiting here with a kiss and a snack, ready to help them with homework, dinner already planned, ready to bring them to sports practice. It has been my world for nearly 13 years, and it's been a nice world - but I think I'm ready to change that world. I'm going to blink and another 13 years will have gone by. My kids will be grown and gone, and who will I be?
But the thought of getting back out there is overwhelming and terrifying. I have none of the confidence I had way back then. I don't own any nice work clothes. Technology is WAY crazier than it was back in 2000. Heck, for all I know kids have microchips implanted in their heads and teachers just download lessons directly into their brains. Last time I taught I used an OVERHEAD PROJECTOR for goodness sake!! Do they even make those anymore? Even applying for jobs has overwhelmed me. Do I consider part time teaching? Subbing? Library? My would be references are long retired, and for awhile I didn't even know if my license was current or even how to go about finding that out. The last time I made a resume (1994!!) I listed my experience at Dairy Queen. Uh, I haven't worked at Dairy Queen in almost 20 years. And if I got a job, how on EARTH would I handle getting Jayson to school? Would I still be able to meet all his needs at home? Would I still be able to handle all the demands of Katy's skating team practices and traveling schedules? I tell you, it's scary. I'm extremely envious of my working mom friends. They have mastered that delicate balance beautifully and I am in awe of them. More and more I want to be like them.
Once upon a time I was a good teacher. It's been a while, and I may not be up on the latest technology, but I have one thing going for me that I didn't have back then - motherhood. I have a very different understanding of kids and their development. I have a VERY different understanding of kids with different learning styles and different social needs. I have a real appreciation for all the stressors that pre teens and teens face these days. I have ten times more patience than I had the last time I taught. And I still have a passionate love for my subject matter. What I don't have is confidence. But I have a very supportive husband and very supportive friends who have begun helping me build that back up. For that I am very grateful.
So, like running, I'm taking it one step at a time. Just yesterday I mustered up my courage and called the Illinois state board of education. What I thought would be an insurmountable task of tracking down my license took all of 5 minutes to solve. There's one mile marker. Next I'm going to complete that hellacious application for District 202 and try to get on their sub list. There's another mile marker, hopefully completed this week. Then I'll tackle the resume - another mile passed. And perhaps I'll even dip my toes in the waters of actual teaching jobs. That would be a very momentous mile marker. Truth be told that last mile might be a little further down the road, but if there's one thing I've learned about myself, it's that I can run pretty far down roads. I'll keep you posted...
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
If I Could Turn Back Time...
I try hard not to live my life with any regrets, but I have found myself looking back lately and wishing I had done a few things differently. I don't know if it's because I'm watching Katy hit her teenage years with so much potential and choice ahead of her, or if I'm just old and thinking more about my youth. Whatever the reason, I was thinking about the 5 major things I would change if, in the immortal words of Cher, I could turn back time...
1. I would have cared SO MUCH LESS about what others thought of me in high school and college. I had very little self confidence when I was younger. Like many kids, I tried so hard to fit in and be just like the "popular crowd". It wasn't until I was much older and a high school teacher myself that I really saw how much better it was to be unique and true to yourself. The "popular" kids really had their priorities screwed up and cared very little about anything except their own popularity. The kids who had their own uniqueness were truly neat and grew up to be super confident. I try very hard to impress this message on my daughter. Who cares what everyone else is doing and if you measure up to some arbitrary yard stick? Create your own yardstick.
2. I would have chosen a different college. I got very little guidance on how to choose a good school that fit my needs. My parents took me to tour a few college campuses but no one every really sat down and talked to me about what would be the best fit. I applied to 4 very different schools, with no real rhyme or reason involved. In the end, I chose the school that was closest to home because I was scared to venture too far, and I wanted to be close to my boyfriend, who was still in high school. Lame reasons. I ended up at an urban school in the middle of the bad part of Milwaukee. I had some good times there, and certainly got a great education, but never really felt at home. I left that school with only one very good friend that I keep in contact with to this day. On the plus side, I did marry that high school boyfriend - but that probably would have happened no matter where I went to school.
3. I would have traveled abroad. I have seen so little of the world. I was briefly a Spanish major in college but switched to history because I didn't think my parents would spring for a semester in Spain (a requirement for a teaching license back then). Then when I graduated I was too poor to travel. As a teacher, I had a chance to lead a trip to Europe, but turned it down because I was hoping to have kids soon and didn't want to commit to a trip I might not be able to go on. Now at nearly 41 years old, the money just isn't there for fantastic worldly travel adventures. Like most people, mortgages, college savings, and retirement savings eat up whatever surplus might be left. Hopefully one day I'll be able to see all those places I have learned about and taught about.
4. I would have had a completely different wedding. Thankfully, I would have married the same person, but I would not have had the bloated extravaganza that I was talked into by those around me. I was youngish (24) and still trying to find my footing in adulthood. I still followed the crowd and listened to those around me. As a result, I was bogged down for one year making life or death decisions on caligraphied invitations, centerpieces, bridesmaid dresses, and color schemes. What a colossal waste of time and money. I ended up having a wedding where I didn't even know one quarter of the people in attendance. After 16 years I have the wisdom to understand that the marriage is ten times more important than the wedding. It was a nice party, I guess, but the money Erik and I spent on it would have been used more wisely to help with the house or pay off student loans. 10 years later Erik and I renewed our vows in a very simple, heartfelt ceremony with only our close friends and family in attendance. That day is more special to me than my wedding day.
5. I wouldn't have worried about that stupid C section. When I was 34 weeks pregnant with Jayson he was still in a breech position. I became terrified of a C section and tried everything in my power to avoid it - even resorting to having the doctor try to manually turn the baby at 36 weeks. I will never forget watching her literally grab his head through my belly and squeeze while she tried to turn him. It haunts me to this very day. Not only did the procedure not work, leading me to have a C section anyway, but I will forever wonder if Jayson's issues were the result of that pre-birth trauma. C sections are really no big deal. I wish I had been in a state of mind to understand that at the time.
Thankfully, every decision we make helps us grow as a person. I don't think my life was ruined by any one of those things above. If anything, looking back on my regrets helps me clarify what is important to me and shows me how far I've come. I have talked to Katy about many of these things in hopes that she doesn't make the same "mistakes", but I know that even if she avoids my perceived pitfalls, she will make plenty mistakes of her own. That's okay. The greatest lesson in life is that it's okay to make mistakes, and it's okay not to do everything perfectly. Each day brings a new opportunity to start again.
1. I would have cared SO MUCH LESS about what others thought of me in high school and college. I had very little self confidence when I was younger. Like many kids, I tried so hard to fit in and be just like the "popular crowd". It wasn't until I was much older and a high school teacher myself that I really saw how much better it was to be unique and true to yourself. The "popular" kids really had their priorities screwed up and cared very little about anything except their own popularity. The kids who had their own uniqueness were truly neat and grew up to be super confident. I try very hard to impress this message on my daughter. Who cares what everyone else is doing and if you measure up to some arbitrary yard stick? Create your own yardstick.
2. I would have chosen a different college. I got very little guidance on how to choose a good school that fit my needs. My parents took me to tour a few college campuses but no one every really sat down and talked to me about what would be the best fit. I applied to 4 very different schools, with no real rhyme or reason involved. In the end, I chose the school that was closest to home because I was scared to venture too far, and I wanted to be close to my boyfriend, who was still in high school. Lame reasons. I ended up at an urban school in the middle of the bad part of Milwaukee. I had some good times there, and certainly got a great education, but never really felt at home. I left that school with only one very good friend that I keep in contact with to this day. On the plus side, I did marry that high school boyfriend - but that probably would have happened no matter where I went to school.
3. I would have traveled abroad. I have seen so little of the world. I was briefly a Spanish major in college but switched to history because I didn't think my parents would spring for a semester in Spain (a requirement for a teaching license back then). Then when I graduated I was too poor to travel. As a teacher, I had a chance to lead a trip to Europe, but turned it down because I was hoping to have kids soon and didn't want to commit to a trip I might not be able to go on. Now at nearly 41 years old, the money just isn't there for fantastic worldly travel adventures. Like most people, mortgages, college savings, and retirement savings eat up whatever surplus might be left. Hopefully one day I'll be able to see all those places I have learned about and taught about.
4. I would have had a completely different wedding. Thankfully, I would have married the same person, but I would not have had the bloated extravaganza that I was talked into by those around me. I was youngish (24) and still trying to find my footing in adulthood. I still followed the crowd and listened to those around me. As a result, I was bogged down for one year making life or death decisions on caligraphied invitations, centerpieces, bridesmaid dresses, and color schemes. What a colossal waste of time and money. I ended up having a wedding where I didn't even know one quarter of the people in attendance. After 16 years I have the wisdom to understand that the marriage is ten times more important than the wedding. It was a nice party, I guess, but the money Erik and I spent on it would have been used more wisely to help with the house or pay off student loans. 10 years later Erik and I renewed our vows in a very simple, heartfelt ceremony with only our close friends and family in attendance. That day is more special to me than my wedding day.
5. I wouldn't have worried about that stupid C section. When I was 34 weeks pregnant with Jayson he was still in a breech position. I became terrified of a C section and tried everything in my power to avoid it - even resorting to having the doctor try to manually turn the baby at 36 weeks. I will never forget watching her literally grab his head through my belly and squeeze while she tried to turn him. It haunts me to this very day. Not only did the procedure not work, leading me to have a C section anyway, but I will forever wonder if Jayson's issues were the result of that pre-birth trauma. C sections are really no big deal. I wish I had been in a state of mind to understand that at the time.
Thankfully, every decision we make helps us grow as a person. I don't think my life was ruined by any one of those things above. If anything, looking back on my regrets helps me clarify what is important to me and shows me how far I've come. I have talked to Katy about many of these things in hopes that she doesn't make the same "mistakes", but I know that even if she avoids my perceived pitfalls, she will make plenty mistakes of her own. That's okay. The greatest lesson in life is that it's okay to make mistakes, and it's okay not to do everything perfectly. Each day brings a new opportunity to start again.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Just What I Needed...
As many of you know, it's been a rough month in the Strand house. Sickness struck many of us, putting Erik in the hospital, and taking Jayson out of school for an entire week. Then I went away to a long skating competition and came back sick myself. To say our normal routines are out of whack would be putting it mildly. For some families, a change in routine is really no big deal. For the Strands, a change in routine is devastating to our son - and we have seen the unfortunate effects in the past week or so. Jayson has had a hard time readjusting to going back to school after being off for Christmas break and then another week for illness. He has been even more unfocused than usual, has shown rare misbehavior, and has not been able to keep up in math, his best subject. On more than one occasion he has uttered "I hate school and I hate learning new things". At home he is emotional and angers more quickly than usual.
I tend to panic when Jayson gets into these moods, even though I've seen them before and they are usually short lived. These periods are often a kick in the gut to me because it greatly magnifies all of his issues related to his autism - usually just when I'm letting some hope and optimism creep into my life about his future. You see, Jayson was having a VERY successful school year up until about 2 weeks ago. My rational mind knows he's just reacting to all the changes that have happened here at home this month, but my heart breaks to see all his struggles magnified during this time. And because I tend to be a worrier, I start to panic about his future and his ability to make it in the world at large.
And then, lo and behold, I see post on a friend's facebook page yesterday. Her friend wrote an article for an Autism website called Natural Learning Concepts (http://www.nlconcepts.com/) called "Top Ten Reason Why People With Autism Rock". As I read the article I realized not only was Jayson going to be okay, he was going to be more than okay. You see, the article showed me that instead of worrying about Jayson, perhaps I should worry a little more about myself. Almost all the positive qualities that the author lists in the article are qualities that I really need to work on in my own life. Sometimes I need that reminder that autism is not always such a bad thing. The rest of us can learn ALOT from people on the spectrum.
So I've copied the article and web address below. Please take the time to read it. Hopefully it will make you appreciate people on the spectrum more, and make you think about yourself. It did for me. It also helped me to take a deep breath about all his current behaviors. This will pass. It always does. Our routines are slowly getting back to normal and so will Jayson. And, as the article below shows, Jayson's "normal" is a actually a wonderful thing. Enjoy...
http://www.nlconcepts.com/article-10-reasons-why-people-with-autism-rock.html
Ten Reasons Why People with Autism Rock
1. People on the autism spectrum don't play mind games
Sarah: “I'm going to have a cozy day at home honey, but whatever you decide to do is fine.”
Mike: “Great. I think I'll head on over to Greg's house to watch the game and have a few beers.”
Sarah: “Fine! You might as well sleep over there too since the locks will be changed by the time you get home.” (Exits room and slams door)
Mike: (Frowning, confused and totally nonplussed) “What the..?”
Typical people are often masterful at saying one thing, while meaning the opposite. It's a game that most of us hate but we play it anyway. Consistently needing to read between the lines can be emotionally exhausting. Why is it so difficult for most of us to simply say it straight? People on the autism spectrum don't play these mind games. They tell it like it is and it's remarkably refreshing to be in their company. They don't expect you to play these games either. They mean what they say, and expect you do too. That's right! They'll take what you say at face value, without secretly doubting or disbelieving your word. What a great characteristic!
2. People on the autism spectrum are not interested in “looking good”
Many of us have an unconscious need to impress others. The clothes we wear, the topics we talk about, and even the careers we pick are often influenced by what others might think of us. People on the autism spectrum tend to do what makes them happy. If those ugly red shoes provide great comfort, then so be it. If reading children's comics make them laugh like a little kid, that's what they'll do. They're not about to feign interest in some philosophical argument just because it might make them look good. They're not interested in keeping up with the neighbors or buying the new “in thing” because that's what everyone is doing. They are who they are and that is that! This makes them genuine, sincere people who are unique and fascinating to be around.
3. People on the autism spectrum maintain an innocence about them
Many people on the autism spectrum have an uncanny ability to maintain the innocence of a little kid. They are captivated by the small things in life and are likely to be far more impressed by a leaf blowing haphazardly in the wind, than by the worldly possessions someone is flaunting in front of them. Foreigners to deception, they believe every word you say and this characteristic leaves them as gullible and naïve as a child. They don't look for hidden meanings and even if they did, they are unlikely to find them. They accept the world at face value, often delighting in the beauty around them.
4. People on the autism spectrum are honest
Since deception is not part of their makeup, people on the autism spectrum hardly ever tell a lie. One might even say they are honest to a fault. People on the autism spectrum will call it as they see it. If you want the truth, you know who to go to but be prepared for a brutally honest answer. Most of this population has never perfected the art of a white lie. They typically do not cheat or steal and remain remarkably in integrity. Most often people on the autism spectrum are valued friends who are honest, forthright and one hundred percent loyal.
5. People on the autism spectrum delight in the moment
For many of us, the book we found fascinating in college wore off pretty fast. The jingle that first made us laugh drove us crazy 20 minutes later. The first sunset we witnessed captivated our heart but years later we put on sunglasses and barely notice it. Sadly, it doesn't take much for us to become blasé about the world around us. Most people on the autism spectrum are just the opposite! The joke that had them in stitches a month ago has the same effect on them today. The light reflecting off the glass window has them just as mesmerized as they first time they saw it. The color of the sky after a summer storm fills them with wonder each and every time. Perhaps because they are so sensory aware, they possess the talent of delighting in the small moments of life. One thing is for sure, their enthusiasm for life is contagious and it's great to be in their presence.
6. People on the autism spectrum have an intense ability to focus
While the rest of the world is socializing, many people on the autism spectrum are pursuing their interest with frenzy. There are no limits to the amount of time and effort they will dedicate to their passion, and they possess a unique ability to filter out the rest of the world while doing so. This intense focus and attention to detail enables them to master a subject or skill, which is often a great asset to the workforce. Temple Grandin says that if we eradicate autism from the world, we'll also be depriving ourselves of all the great gadgets and technology we enjoy, such as software programs, computer chips, video technology and the likes. While many of these inventors and pioneers might not be diagnosed with autism, many of them certainly possess autistic traits and the ability to focus intensely on their subject of interest.
7. People on the autism spectrum don't gossip
You know those people who are always talking behind your back? You can be sure they are not on the autism spectrum. People on the spectrum do not indulge in gossip. In fact the whole thing goes right over the top of their head. And as for all those private smirks and eye contact people surreptitiously engage in during a public exchange, you can bet your spectrum friend will never do that to you. If your spectrum friend has something to say, he'll either say it directly or keep it to himself. Blabbing about it to other people is completely foreign to his nature.
8. People with autism are not judgmental
Wouldn't it be great if people could just accept you as you are? The answer is to befriend someone on the autism spectrum. People with autism concentrate on the matter at hand. When they're listening to you speak, this is where they maintain their focus. They won't be furtively judging you on your clothes, your level of success, the color of your skin or how well you play baseball. If Jim tells his autism spectrum friend that he likes eating burgers from McDonalds, his friend thinks “Jim likes eating burgers from McDonalds.” He doesn't judge Jim based on his eating preferences or secretly concludes that Jim has poor eating habits, and is in need of an education on the food pyramid. The same holds true when a person on the spectrum encounters someone, who, let’s say for example has pink hair. There is no judgment about what type of personality this person must have or the background they must have come from. They simply acknowledge the presence of pink hair and move on. The ability to abstain from jumping to conclusions about people based on their appearance, career or some other aspect is admirable, and we have much to learn from our friends with autism in this department.
9. People on the autism spectrum make great employees
Many people on the autism spectrum make great employees with admirable work ethics. They are typically creatures of habit. They arrive at exactly the same time every day and never leave early. They wouldn't dream of taking extended lunch breaks and you won't find them socializing at the coffee machine. They're more likely to be working studiously at their desk. Many of us balk at the routine aspects of our job and overlook the small details we should pay attention to. But this is often an area of strength for those on the spectrum, who are masterful at paying attention to detail. They are honest and loyal workers, who certainly don't enjoy job hopping and are typically committed and dedicated to their place of employment.
10. People with autism have a unique perspective
People with autism have a unique way of communicating and a fascinating perspective. Many are capable of such a diverse range of exceptional abilities. If you take the time to look, you'll find that the amount we can learn from them is quite staggering. Because people with autism have such a different way of thinking and being, they can contribute greatly to us, the workforce and to how we view life. If you are lucky enough to be close to someone on the autism spectrum, you will know firsthand that not only do they see the world from a different angle, but they have changed your perspective too and instilled in you a sense of compassion you never knew you were capable of feeling.
To all of you out there who are on the autism spectrum...You Rock!
I tend to panic when Jayson gets into these moods, even though I've seen them before and they are usually short lived. These periods are often a kick in the gut to me because it greatly magnifies all of his issues related to his autism - usually just when I'm letting some hope and optimism creep into my life about his future. You see, Jayson was having a VERY successful school year up until about 2 weeks ago. My rational mind knows he's just reacting to all the changes that have happened here at home this month, but my heart breaks to see all his struggles magnified during this time. And because I tend to be a worrier, I start to panic about his future and his ability to make it in the world at large.
And then, lo and behold, I see post on a friend's facebook page yesterday. Her friend wrote an article for an Autism website called Natural Learning Concepts (http://www.nlconcepts.com/) called "Top Ten Reason Why People With Autism Rock". As I read the article I realized not only was Jayson going to be okay, he was going to be more than okay. You see, the article showed me that instead of worrying about Jayson, perhaps I should worry a little more about myself. Almost all the positive qualities that the author lists in the article are qualities that I really need to work on in my own life. Sometimes I need that reminder that autism is not always such a bad thing. The rest of us can learn ALOT from people on the spectrum.
So I've copied the article and web address below. Please take the time to read it. Hopefully it will make you appreciate people on the spectrum more, and make you think about yourself. It did for me. It also helped me to take a deep breath about all his current behaviors. This will pass. It always does. Our routines are slowly getting back to normal and so will Jayson. And, as the article below shows, Jayson's "normal" is a actually a wonderful thing. Enjoy...
http://www.nlconcepts.com/article-10-reasons-why-people-with-autism-rock.html
Ten Reasons Why People with Autism Rock
1. People on the autism spectrum don't play mind games
Sarah: “I'm going to have a cozy day at home honey, but whatever you decide to do is fine.”
Mike: “Great. I think I'll head on over to Greg's house to watch the game and have a few beers.”
Sarah: “Fine! You might as well sleep over there too since the locks will be changed by the time you get home.” (Exits room and slams door)
Mike: (Frowning, confused and totally nonplussed) “What the..?”
Typical people are often masterful at saying one thing, while meaning the opposite. It's a game that most of us hate but we play it anyway. Consistently needing to read between the lines can be emotionally exhausting. Why is it so difficult for most of us to simply say it straight? People on the autism spectrum don't play these mind games. They tell it like it is and it's remarkably refreshing to be in their company. They don't expect you to play these games either. They mean what they say, and expect you do too. That's right! They'll take what you say at face value, without secretly doubting or disbelieving your word. What a great characteristic!
2. People on the autism spectrum are not interested in “looking good”
Many of us have an unconscious need to impress others. The clothes we wear, the topics we talk about, and even the careers we pick are often influenced by what others might think of us. People on the autism spectrum tend to do what makes them happy. If those ugly red shoes provide great comfort, then so be it. If reading children's comics make them laugh like a little kid, that's what they'll do. They're not about to feign interest in some philosophical argument just because it might make them look good. They're not interested in keeping up with the neighbors or buying the new “in thing” because that's what everyone is doing. They are who they are and that is that! This makes them genuine, sincere people who are unique and fascinating to be around.
3. People on the autism spectrum maintain an innocence about them
Many people on the autism spectrum have an uncanny ability to maintain the innocence of a little kid. They are captivated by the small things in life and are likely to be far more impressed by a leaf blowing haphazardly in the wind, than by the worldly possessions someone is flaunting in front of them. Foreigners to deception, they believe every word you say and this characteristic leaves them as gullible and naïve as a child. They don't look for hidden meanings and even if they did, they are unlikely to find them. They accept the world at face value, often delighting in the beauty around them.
4. People on the autism spectrum are honest
Since deception is not part of their makeup, people on the autism spectrum hardly ever tell a lie. One might even say they are honest to a fault. People on the autism spectrum will call it as they see it. If you want the truth, you know who to go to but be prepared for a brutally honest answer. Most of this population has never perfected the art of a white lie. They typically do not cheat or steal and remain remarkably in integrity. Most often people on the autism spectrum are valued friends who are honest, forthright and one hundred percent loyal.
5. People on the autism spectrum delight in the moment
For many of us, the book we found fascinating in college wore off pretty fast. The jingle that first made us laugh drove us crazy 20 minutes later. The first sunset we witnessed captivated our heart but years later we put on sunglasses and barely notice it. Sadly, it doesn't take much for us to become blasé about the world around us. Most people on the autism spectrum are just the opposite! The joke that had them in stitches a month ago has the same effect on them today. The light reflecting off the glass window has them just as mesmerized as they first time they saw it. The color of the sky after a summer storm fills them with wonder each and every time. Perhaps because they are so sensory aware, they possess the talent of delighting in the small moments of life. One thing is for sure, their enthusiasm for life is contagious and it's great to be in their presence.
6. People on the autism spectrum have an intense ability to focus
While the rest of the world is socializing, many people on the autism spectrum are pursuing their interest with frenzy. There are no limits to the amount of time and effort they will dedicate to their passion, and they possess a unique ability to filter out the rest of the world while doing so. This intense focus and attention to detail enables them to master a subject or skill, which is often a great asset to the workforce. Temple Grandin says that if we eradicate autism from the world, we'll also be depriving ourselves of all the great gadgets and technology we enjoy, such as software programs, computer chips, video technology and the likes. While many of these inventors and pioneers might not be diagnosed with autism, many of them certainly possess autistic traits and the ability to focus intensely on their subject of interest.
7. People on the autism spectrum don't gossip
You know those people who are always talking behind your back? You can be sure they are not on the autism spectrum. People on the spectrum do not indulge in gossip. In fact the whole thing goes right over the top of their head. And as for all those private smirks and eye contact people surreptitiously engage in during a public exchange, you can bet your spectrum friend will never do that to you. If your spectrum friend has something to say, he'll either say it directly or keep it to himself. Blabbing about it to other people is completely foreign to his nature.
8. People with autism are not judgmental
Wouldn't it be great if people could just accept you as you are? The answer is to befriend someone on the autism spectrum. People with autism concentrate on the matter at hand. When they're listening to you speak, this is where they maintain their focus. They won't be furtively judging you on your clothes, your level of success, the color of your skin or how well you play baseball. If Jim tells his autism spectrum friend that he likes eating burgers from McDonalds, his friend thinks “Jim likes eating burgers from McDonalds.” He doesn't judge Jim based on his eating preferences or secretly concludes that Jim has poor eating habits, and is in need of an education on the food pyramid. The same holds true when a person on the spectrum encounters someone, who, let’s say for example has pink hair. There is no judgment about what type of personality this person must have or the background they must have come from. They simply acknowledge the presence of pink hair and move on. The ability to abstain from jumping to conclusions about people based on their appearance, career or some other aspect is admirable, and we have much to learn from our friends with autism in this department.
9. People on the autism spectrum make great employees
Many people on the autism spectrum make great employees with admirable work ethics. They are typically creatures of habit. They arrive at exactly the same time every day and never leave early. They wouldn't dream of taking extended lunch breaks and you won't find them socializing at the coffee machine. They're more likely to be working studiously at their desk. Many of us balk at the routine aspects of our job and overlook the small details we should pay attention to. But this is often an area of strength for those on the spectrum, who are masterful at paying attention to detail. They are honest and loyal workers, who certainly don't enjoy job hopping and are typically committed and dedicated to their place of employment.
10. People with autism have a unique perspective
People with autism have a unique way of communicating and a fascinating perspective. Many are capable of such a diverse range of exceptional abilities. If you take the time to look, you'll find that the amount we can learn from them is quite staggering. Because people with autism have such a different way of thinking and being, they can contribute greatly to us, the workforce and to how we view life. If you are lucky enough to be close to someone on the autism spectrum, you will know firsthand that not only do they see the world from a different angle, but they have changed your perspective too and instilled in you a sense of compassion you never knew you were capable of feeling.
To all of you out there who are on the autism spectrum...You Rock!
Friday, January 18, 2013
Things I Have Learned in the last 36 Hours
It has been a hellacious week at my house. Both Erik and Jayson became sick last Saturday night and suffered from some kind of virus for the next 5 days. Jayson missed a week of school and Erik missed a week of work. I thought things couldn't get any worse. They did. But they also didn't. Here is what I have learned - hope some of it sticks with you in case you (God Forbid) ever need it:
1. Viruses can turn. It doesn't matter if you are young, strong, and healthy. Erik is one of the strongest men I know. He doesn't smoke, he eats well, he exercises, and generally takes care of himself. Right now he is sitting in the hospital with acute pneumonia. 24 hours after being admitted we are just now getting a clearer picture of how sick he was, and how very close he was to having his story turn out a VERY different way. I thought I was shaken up yesterday on the ambulance ride to the hospital - I'm more shaken up now knowing how close I came to losing him. Don't mess around with possible pneumonia. Please.
2. Be forever thankful for your friends and family. I don't know what I would do without them. 2 of my friends had my back in about 10 minutes from when I made that first phone call from the ER, and soon many others joined in. My kids were taken care of, I was being prayed for hard, wonderful doctors were suggested, plans were rearranged to help get my daughter through a skating competition, and a wonderful meal appeared on my doorstep to get us through the weekend. God Bless all of you - truly. I'm so close to falling apart and I'm convinced it's everyone's support that's keeping it at bay.
3. Don't be complacent. 16 years ago Erik had cancer and beat it - beat it soundly. We haven't thought about it in a LONG time. Yesterday a radiologist in the ER, being overly cautious about what he was seeing on the chest x ray, made some comments about a possible return of the cancer, throwing us into an absolutely terrifying tailspin. In all honesty, the last time I remember having that instant "I'm going to throw up" feeling was when I was told my son had autism. I hate that feeling. I don't ever want that feeling ever again. Many doctors have consulted with us in the last 24 hours. Tests have been run. It is much more likely the spots on the X ray were due to the pneumonia. There is really no indication of the cancer's return upon further study. We aren't nearly as scared about that as we were yesterday. Now we are freaked out about the severity of the pneumonia. Don't become complacent. Things can turn on a dime. I've heard more stories in the last 24 hours of how things could go wrong.
4. Priorities. In one swift instant nothing else mattered. Nothing. I hate that it takes something like this to clear all the bullsh** from my brain. Erik too. We both had a long talk today about what needs to take precedence in our minds and bodies. Color us both sufficiently scared into change.
5. My husband is the center of my universe. Without him I am lost. Thank you, God, for letting him remain with me. I cherish every single second.
1. Viruses can turn. It doesn't matter if you are young, strong, and healthy. Erik is one of the strongest men I know. He doesn't smoke, he eats well, he exercises, and generally takes care of himself. Right now he is sitting in the hospital with acute pneumonia. 24 hours after being admitted we are just now getting a clearer picture of how sick he was, and how very close he was to having his story turn out a VERY different way. I thought I was shaken up yesterday on the ambulance ride to the hospital - I'm more shaken up now knowing how close I came to losing him. Don't mess around with possible pneumonia. Please.
2. Be forever thankful for your friends and family. I don't know what I would do without them. 2 of my friends had my back in about 10 minutes from when I made that first phone call from the ER, and soon many others joined in. My kids were taken care of, I was being prayed for hard, wonderful doctors were suggested, plans were rearranged to help get my daughter through a skating competition, and a wonderful meal appeared on my doorstep to get us through the weekend. God Bless all of you - truly. I'm so close to falling apart and I'm convinced it's everyone's support that's keeping it at bay.
3. Don't be complacent. 16 years ago Erik had cancer and beat it - beat it soundly. We haven't thought about it in a LONG time. Yesterday a radiologist in the ER, being overly cautious about what he was seeing on the chest x ray, made some comments about a possible return of the cancer, throwing us into an absolutely terrifying tailspin. In all honesty, the last time I remember having that instant "I'm going to throw up" feeling was when I was told my son had autism. I hate that feeling. I don't ever want that feeling ever again. Many doctors have consulted with us in the last 24 hours. Tests have been run. It is much more likely the spots on the X ray were due to the pneumonia. There is really no indication of the cancer's return upon further study. We aren't nearly as scared about that as we were yesterday. Now we are freaked out about the severity of the pneumonia. Don't become complacent. Things can turn on a dime. I've heard more stories in the last 24 hours of how things could go wrong.
4. Priorities. In one swift instant nothing else mattered. Nothing. I hate that it takes something like this to clear all the bullsh** from my brain. Erik too. We both had a long talk today about what needs to take precedence in our minds and bodies. Color us both sufficiently scared into change.
5. My husband is the center of my universe. Without him I am lost. Thank you, God, for letting him remain with me. I cherish every single second.
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