Stop Kidding Yourself

I think when one hits middle age it's time to come to grips with a few truths about oneself.  For so many years I have uttered the refrain , "Someday I will ____________ and all will be better.".  Well, since everyone tells me turning 40 is very "liberating and freeing", I'm thinking that it's time to Stop Kidding Myself and come to terms with the following things:

1.  I will never have straight flat hair.  Nope.  I've admired people for years with simple and pretty flat hair and always figured one day I would try out the style.  Not happening, folks.  I'm too cheap to have it done professionally, and too lazy (and uncoordinated)  to flat iron it myself.  I have come to embrace my curly, frizzy, poofy, big hair. 

2.  I will never have an organized house.   Unless the folks from TLC's Clean Sweep are going to come to my house and perform the mother of all miracles, my house will remain a monument to disorganization.  My cabinets are atrocious, my drawers stuffed full, my closets a disaster.  I have piles everywhere plotting to take over someday.  My OCD husband has even given up on me.  He escapes to work where he can keep his office perfect and everything on his desk at right angles.  He has surrendered on the home front.  If you want to see the only organized room in my house, go into Katy's room.  She has somehow escaped my bad habits. An addendum to this one is that I will never have a beautifully decorated house.  I just don't just care enough.  15 years and no window treatments should have been my first clue.  I'd rather spend my time and money on other things.  I do LOVE to see other people's beautiful houses though - and I'm still jealous.  I just need some kind of house fairy to do it all for me...

3.  I will always worry about what others think of me.  Gosh I wish I didn't give a hoot, but I do.  I always worry I'm saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing.  I really hoped this habit would die with high school, but alas, I still do it.  Maybe when I turn 50...


4.   I will forever eat stupid, childish, candy.  Yes I know sugar and artificial colors are bad for me, blah blah blah.  But I have an addiction that can barely be kept at bay.  And my tastes have never, ahem, matured.  I still love Mike and Ikes, Starbursts, and laffy taffy (I dare you not to laugh the jokes on the wrapper).  And I harbor an unnatural love for bit o honeys.  Bring on Halloween!

5.  I will always forget everyone's birthday.  Cripes I'm terrible at this.  You'd think I would write everything down once and for all on some kind of master calendar (please see #2 above), but I don't.  I'm lucky to remember my own children's birthday.  This is a total curse because NO ONE forgets my birthday, which is April Fool's Day.  Poetic, no??

I'm sure there are more, but these are just the ones off the top of my head.  On a positive note, I used to say "I would NEVER run a marathon - those people are crazy".   So I guess there are some personal truths I've been able to overcome, right?  Or maybe I've just finally gone crazy...