It All Comes Down To This...

I am just over 4 days away from the marathon - 4 days away from doing the craziest thing in 40 years.  I spent a large part of the weekend freaking out.  This included obsessively checking the weather (please, please stay below 70 degrees!), wondering if I should change my planned outfit, worrying about what I was going to eat this week, and panicking over every little snap, crackle, and pop of my joints (I sounded like a bowl of rice krispies before I started running so it's really no big deal).  I have been working towards this goal since last fall and I didn't want ANYTHING to screw it up. 

But after a very nice and easy 8 mile run on Saturday morning, the haze of panic began to clear out and was replaced by a pleasantly surprising feeling of excitement and peace.  I absolutely cannot WAIT for Saturday.  Barring any disaster, I truly think this is going to be one of the greatest moments of my life.  This accomplishment is mine and mine alone.  Nobody made my legs move for me.  Nobody forced me outside in sub zero temps or pouring rain.  Nobody made me get out of bed at 5:00 AM for runs.  I am hopefully going to do what less than 1% of the US population has done.  And I'm usually not a bragger, but you can be darn tootin' I'm going to feel some pride in this!  And the best part is that I'm going to be surrounded by friends and family, some who are celebrating their first marathons or half marathons as well.  I can't wait to cross the finish line and celebrate with everyone - although I'm fairly certain they will have to start the celebration without me since I'm on pace to finish dead last out of all my friends (which is just fine, believe me!). 

And I truly can't wait to see my family at the finish.  Erik has been an absolute saint throughout this entire crazy endeavor.  He's put up with my 7PM bedtimes, my endless carbohydrate dinners, and the dramatic increase in our ibuprofen budget.  He's been nothing but encouraging and I think he's as excited for me as I am for myself.  But the best part will be seeing the kids.  I've always been a firm believer that parents need to cultivate a life outside of their children.  I fully support my kids' dreams, but I also want them to be inspired by mine.  It warms my heart that the first thing Jayson says to me when he sees me put on my shoes is "How many miles are you running today, Mom?".  He used to tell me that I run too far, but lately he's been commenting "is that all?", when I tell him my plans to run some shorter distances.  For some reason, he's convinced I'm going to get 76th place.  I don't have the heart to tell him it will be more like 3076th place! I'm just glad he's interested in what I'm doing.  But it's Katy who has tickled me the most.  She comes home from school every day and immediately asks me how my run went  In the past few weeks she has said more than once how much she wants to run a marathon some day. She's asked to run with me after the race and has a goal of running a 10K by the end of summer.  I can't wait to get her fitted for her own pair of shoes so she can join me out on some runs.  With her gazelle-like legs and crazy athletic ability, it won't be long before she passes me by. 

So BRING IT ON!! I can't wait! And I'm not going to panic any more at all.  I'm certainly not going to obsess any more about things like outfits and weather.  But I might take the rest of the week to obsess over one very important last detail - what I'm going to have for dinner AFTER the race.  I see an entire pizza in my future...

I'll let you know how it all turns out...

Turning 40...

Well I'm wondering if I need to change the title of this blog to "Tales of a Girl Who TURNED 40", since last Sunday, April 1, was my birthday.  While I think I'll keep the title the same for now, I would like to share some of my observations about the big event:

1.  It wasn't a big event.  No huge party, no fireworks, no massive gift, and no April Fool's day jokes.  But it did include a lovely evening with my good friends filled with good food, good wine, and great company.  I have always said that one of my greatest blessings is my friends.  I'm so thankful I got to spend my birthday with them.

2.  I wasn't depressed!  I can't tell you how many people called me that day and asked (some jokingly, some not) "How are you handling everything?"  I'm sure turning 40 is hard for some folks - and one day not so long ago I thought it would be hard for me.  Not even close.  By the time April 1 rolled around I was excited to turn 40! My 30's were an exhausting roller coaster of emotions, and I spend the bulk of the decade second guessing my every move.  Recently I've come into my own a little bit and operate with a little more confidence.  I'm not as panicked about my children (a shocker, let me tell you) and I feel as if I'm finally getting my footing.  If anything, 40 is freeing!

3.  I don't feel old! I don't quite have the spring in my step that I had in my 20's, but my step does still have plenty of spring.  In fact, I spent the last week of my 30's racking up 36 miles worth of running.  This marathon has certainly cushioned the blow of age.  I have never felt more powerful, more strong, and more capable.  I may be more wrinkled and more gray, but dang it - I can also run 20 miles. 

4.  I am SO excited for the next 40 years! I"m loving this stage of life - the kids are still youngish and I still feel like a world of opportunity is at my fingertips.  But I've also gotten some life experience under my belt (good and bad).  I think I'll navigate the next 40 years a little better than I did the first 40!

So Happy Birthday to me - and a HUGE thank you to everyone who celebrated it with me.