Another school year comes to a close. I'm really looking forward to this summer and all the fun adventures we have planned, but I feel like I should take a minute and count my blessings. I couldn't have asked for a better school year for both my children.
Katy started Middle School this year and I was pretty nervous for her. Not academically, but socially. She's not a very confident kid, and friendships don't come easy for her. I was worried that she'd be eaten alive by the social hierarchy that is Middle School. I can honestly say the year didn't start out great, but slowly but surely she found a little group she's comfortable with. These are nice girls, uninterested in social status, who seem to like Katy for all her good and bad qualities. What more could you ask for? In addition, she had a nice time on the cross country team, found that she loved the high jump in track, and even asked if she could try the band next year, even though she's never played a musical instrument in her life. She also wants to try out for volleyball, even though she told me she probably won't make it. I love that she has the courage to try things she's not good at. Wish I could take credit for that - but I'm positive she didn't get that trait from me. And I've found myself looking at her this past year and wondering where all the time has gone. I swear she was just a little preschooler sitting with me at the kitchen table coloring in her coloring book. She's growing up so fast. I know I'm biased, but I think she's such a pretty little thing, with such a sweet heart. I hope I'm doing OK mothering her through these years...
And Jayson? Well that kid just bowled me over. Sometimes I need a good swift kick in my behind to remind me that my son is perfectly capable of doing wonderful things without me worrying and hovering over him. I've tried to give him some space this past year and I think he did fairly well, thanks to some unbelievable support at school and on the sports fields. His third grade teacher was OUTSTANDING this year and really helped him start to take some responsibility to keep himself organized and take some risks (she even gave him a part in the class play). Jayson was the first in the whole class to master his multiplication and division facts, and he studied his little butt off in science and social studies to earn A's all year. Reading and writing are still a struggle, but its nice to finally see where his strengths are so we can encourage him to pursue those, while still working on his weaknesses. And socially? Well, there have been ups and downs, but I think I worry more about Jayson's social life than he does. He has managed to find himself a very sweet little group of boys that he loves to hang out with. When I go into school and watch the kids interact I'm so grateful to see so many of his classmates treat him like any other kid. And he was lucky enough to be in a class full of very sweet children this year. And if you would have told me a year ago that Jayson would play football and baseball this year, I would have laughed in your face. At last night's game, I watched as a teammate sat next to Jayson on the bench and put his arm around him. As the two boys grinned and cheered on their team, I had the biggest lump in my throat. I don't want greatness for my son - I just want happiness for him. This past year has brought so much happiness.
I'm so glad summer is here. No homework, no crazy practice schedules - just a lot of together time with my kids around my house and in my pool. I know these days are so fleeting. I"ll blink my eyes and my kids will have summer jobs and summer school, and then it's off to college. So I'm enjoying it while I can, and counting my blessings. And let's hope 7th and 4th grade are just as successful! Happy Summer everyone!!
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
When Youth Sports Gets It Right...
Sadly, youth sports can become an untamed beast that quickly grows out of control. We've all heard stories of crazy coaches, even crazier parents, outrageous travel teams, ridiculous costs and schedules, and kids driven to the brink of burnout. Every parent thinks their child is gifted and headed for the pros, and many spend all their time and money making sure their kid has the best of everything. I could go on and on and rant about this subject but that's not what I want to talk about.
You see, we have a much different experience with youth sports with our son, Jayson. Everywhere I look kids are heading to elite travel teams and signing up for specialty clinics. I often wonder, where do the average and "so so" kids go? Can't kids play sports just because it's fun? Jayson has been in karate since he was 5, and has recently participated in football and baseball. He is not gifted nor talented in any of these things. Much as I hate to admit it, it's hard to watch the other kids in his karate class progress so much faster, the kids on his football team hit so much harder, and the kids on his baseball team swing the bat more powerfully. But after I take a deep breath and get a grip, it's easy to see how lucky we have been - because Jayson has had incredible experiences with all 3 of these sports thanks to some terrific coaches. And that's when I realize that there's still hope for sanity in youth sports.
Jayson started Karate on the day he turned 5. It was the very first time we attempted any kind of athletic activity. I was a nervous wreck. Jayson was still in a time of his life when meltdowns were common, social skills were dismal, and his attention span was nil. I remember going up to his sensei and talking to him before class started. I told him about Jayson's autism and what might happen. I told him how to handle Jayson if things went south, and I thanked him in advance for his patience. Nearly 4 years later that same man is still Jayson's sensei. He has handled him calmly and patiently, provided tons of encouragement and also gentle butt kicking. Thanks to him, Jayson has moved up 3 belts. He has the confidence to test with hundreds of other kids in front of total strangers. He has memorized 3 katas and has mastered some difficult block and punch combinations. Is he the sharpest one on the floor? No. Is he the most powerful one on the floor? No. Is he good at sparring? Not really. (thank goodness for padding). Will he ever become a black belt? Possibly, but doubtful. But we measure his success in a different way and we are proud of him. I suspect his sensei is proud of him as well. It's not always about being the best.
Jayson's football experience was even better, even though he really didn't have a clue how to play. Erik became an assistant coach so he could keep an eye on how Jayson was interacting with the other players. In the end, we didn't have to worry. The kids really weren't able to talk to each other because they were covered head to toe in padding and protection. All the kids got along fine and the head coach was an absolute dream. He was a perfect example of a positive role model, even asking the ref to call a penalty on one of his OWN players when he made a dirty play. The refs had missed it, but our coach wanted to make a point to the young boys - you play clean or you don't play at all. He even saved a place on the team for twin brothers - one perfectly healthy, the other wheelchair bound with severe physical disabilities. The boy in the wheel chair suited up for every game and coach wheeled him out first when the team took the field. He even gave up the chance at extra points in order to let the boy put the ball on his lap and wheel himself into the end zone. At the end of each game, the boys usually forgot to ask if they won or lost. They just had fun. Those, my friends, are the important lessons to learn in youth sports.
And then we arrived at baseball. I was so excited to have Jayson play, but I was also very nervous. There's A LOT of downtime during a baseball game. Lots of standing around (not a good thing if you have attention issues), and lots of sitting in the dugout (not a good thing if you are awkward with conversations and social interaction). To make matters worse, Erik wasn't able to assistant coach, leaving Jayson on his own. And did I mention that Jayson loves baseball, but can't hit the broad side of a barn? But once again we hit the jackpot with coaches. This coach is the most easy going, positive, and optimistic guy I've ever seen. He cheers for every pitch thrown and every swing of the bat. He has come up with the cutest nicknames for each player. He never argues with the umpires, even when they make an obvious bad call, although other coaches have thrown hissy fits. After all, these umps are just teenagers who are learning skills as well. He has good advice for every player after every game and always has a huge smile on his face. And to top it off, he has the most amazing son - a kid who could easily play on an elite travel team because he's THAT good, but stays on recreational. This boy is just like his father - cheering on his teammates and always being friendly. And happily he spends a lot of time sitting next to Jayson on the bench as they wait to bat. I suspect the coach told his son about Jayson and his autism issues, because he goes out of his way to talk to Jayson and encourage him. And the parents seem really great as well. Everyone cheers for everyone else - even kids on the other team if they make a great play. I couldn't ask for a better experience for Jayson. I'm so grateful. And even though he needs some help in the hitting department, he's actually quite talented at second base! Go figure!
So I'm not one of those mothers that can brag about how talented my kid is, and what elite teams he's on. I have a son who is (gasp) average, at best, in sports. But I suspect that makes me one of the lucky ones. Jayson doesn't have the pressure heaped on him that some kids do. Erik and I can't be swayed to sink tons of money into his athletic development like parents are often pressured to do (we get enough of that pressure with our daughter). Our kid just gets to play and have fun. So a great big THANK YOU to all the coaches and senseis who have helped our son. If everyone approached youth sports like these men, the world would be a better (and less stressful) place. Now, play ball!!!
You see, we have a much different experience with youth sports with our son, Jayson. Everywhere I look kids are heading to elite travel teams and signing up for specialty clinics. I often wonder, where do the average and "so so" kids go? Can't kids play sports just because it's fun? Jayson has been in karate since he was 5, and has recently participated in football and baseball. He is not gifted nor talented in any of these things. Much as I hate to admit it, it's hard to watch the other kids in his karate class progress so much faster, the kids on his football team hit so much harder, and the kids on his baseball team swing the bat more powerfully. But after I take a deep breath and get a grip, it's easy to see how lucky we have been - because Jayson has had incredible experiences with all 3 of these sports thanks to some terrific coaches. And that's when I realize that there's still hope for sanity in youth sports.
Jayson started Karate on the day he turned 5. It was the very first time we attempted any kind of athletic activity. I was a nervous wreck. Jayson was still in a time of his life when meltdowns were common, social skills were dismal, and his attention span was nil. I remember going up to his sensei and talking to him before class started. I told him about Jayson's autism and what might happen. I told him how to handle Jayson if things went south, and I thanked him in advance for his patience. Nearly 4 years later that same man is still Jayson's sensei. He has handled him calmly and patiently, provided tons of encouragement and also gentle butt kicking. Thanks to him, Jayson has moved up 3 belts. He has the confidence to test with hundreds of other kids in front of total strangers. He has memorized 3 katas and has mastered some difficult block and punch combinations. Is he the sharpest one on the floor? No. Is he the most powerful one on the floor? No. Is he good at sparring? Not really. (thank goodness for padding). Will he ever become a black belt? Possibly, but doubtful. But we measure his success in a different way and we are proud of him. I suspect his sensei is proud of him as well. It's not always about being the best.
Jayson's football experience was even better, even though he really didn't have a clue how to play. Erik became an assistant coach so he could keep an eye on how Jayson was interacting with the other players. In the end, we didn't have to worry. The kids really weren't able to talk to each other because they were covered head to toe in padding and protection. All the kids got along fine and the head coach was an absolute dream. He was a perfect example of a positive role model, even asking the ref to call a penalty on one of his OWN players when he made a dirty play. The refs had missed it, but our coach wanted to make a point to the young boys - you play clean or you don't play at all. He even saved a place on the team for twin brothers - one perfectly healthy, the other wheelchair bound with severe physical disabilities. The boy in the wheel chair suited up for every game and coach wheeled him out first when the team took the field. He even gave up the chance at extra points in order to let the boy put the ball on his lap and wheel himself into the end zone. At the end of each game, the boys usually forgot to ask if they won or lost. They just had fun. Those, my friends, are the important lessons to learn in youth sports.
And then we arrived at baseball. I was so excited to have Jayson play, but I was also very nervous. There's A LOT of downtime during a baseball game. Lots of standing around (not a good thing if you have attention issues), and lots of sitting in the dugout (not a good thing if you are awkward with conversations and social interaction). To make matters worse, Erik wasn't able to assistant coach, leaving Jayson on his own. And did I mention that Jayson loves baseball, but can't hit the broad side of a barn? But once again we hit the jackpot with coaches. This coach is the most easy going, positive, and optimistic guy I've ever seen. He cheers for every pitch thrown and every swing of the bat. He has come up with the cutest nicknames for each player. He never argues with the umpires, even when they make an obvious bad call, although other coaches have thrown hissy fits. After all, these umps are just teenagers who are learning skills as well. He has good advice for every player after every game and always has a huge smile on his face. And to top it off, he has the most amazing son - a kid who could easily play on an elite travel team because he's THAT good, but stays on recreational. This boy is just like his father - cheering on his teammates and always being friendly. And happily he spends a lot of time sitting next to Jayson on the bench as they wait to bat. I suspect the coach told his son about Jayson and his autism issues, because he goes out of his way to talk to Jayson and encourage him. And the parents seem really great as well. Everyone cheers for everyone else - even kids on the other team if they make a great play. I couldn't ask for a better experience for Jayson. I'm so grateful. And even though he needs some help in the hitting department, he's actually quite talented at second base! Go figure!
So I'm not one of those mothers that can brag about how talented my kid is, and what elite teams he's on. I have a son who is (gasp) average, at best, in sports. But I suspect that makes me one of the lucky ones. Jayson doesn't have the pressure heaped on him that some kids do. Erik and I can't be swayed to sink tons of money into his athletic development like parents are often pressured to do (we get enough of that pressure with our daughter). Our kid just gets to play and have fun. So a great big THANK YOU to all the coaches and senseis who have helped our son. If everyone approached youth sports like these men, the world would be a better (and less stressful) place. Now, play ball!!!
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